Advertising. It makes the entertainment world go round. Every year, corporate giants spend millions if not billions of dollars to capture our eyeballs and our dollar bills. The goal is to persuade consumers to choose one brand over another within a single category. Occasionally, however, there are categories with literally no unique selling proposition. Take beer for example. The Miller, Bud and Coors corporations have battled over market share for decades, all peddling virtually the same product. This is where advertising comes in. While the objective is to persuade people to like your beer better than the other guy, it can always backfire, too.
When it comes to Bud Light versus Miller Light, I could swing either way (Although I prefer well-crafted microbrews to begin with). However, I will never willingly drink Coors. Simply because I hate their advertising. Or more specifically, their marketing. Does Coors think their consumers are drooling idiots? Sorry, but I don’t need the mountains on your stupid label to turn blue in order to inform me that your beer is cold. What’s wrong with the age-old tradition of touching the bottle with your hand? And now, to add insult to idiocracy, Coors is touting a new case that has a clear window so you can see whether the mountains inside your 12-pack have turned blue. Seriously?! Just thinking about this patronization makes me want to break a blue mountain over the fool’s head who came up with this idea. I’m sorry, but selling your beer on the notion that it’s the coldest in its category is simply absurd, if not belittling to your own brewers. The fact that your beer is cold has nothing to do with the taste of your beverage, but rather the quality of my refrigerator. At least Miller Light is touting the fact that their beer is “triple hops brewed.” I’m not a brewmaster myself, so I’m not exactly sure what that means, but at least it sounds good. It means they put extra time and effort into the process of making their beer taste good. However, you, Coors, make no such claim. You apparently think I’m wide-eyed caveman astounded by the invention of ice. Shame on you for your demeaning marketing strategy. If I ever walk into a bar that for some reason doesn’t sell Sierra Nevada, Newcastle or some other real beer, you can bet your sweet advertising dollars that I will never buy one of your ‘rocky mountain cold’ bottles of BS.
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